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Let me tell you what a typical date with me is like. I'll show up 15 minutes early dressed in an affliction or tap out t-shirt (that's standard), proceed to convince you, you're late even though you show up on time. (Girls love being on edge and feeling uncomfortable on the first date.) I'll be sure to not compliment you on how good you look but rather give you a look of disapproval, (so you know I can do better). From there I will be sure to tell you about "all the slut I have been bangin" because I'm the man and everyone should know it (girls love knowing that other women want their man). And of course I will be referring to women as sluts or whores only (I would hate for my date to start thinking too highly of herself). You can bet I'll be checking out ever piece of ass wherever we are. Next I will order two shot, and take them both, further reaffirming that I don't care about you, and you're lucky to be on this date. This would continue till the bill came, at which point you will be paying it, again bc you were lucky to let me go out with you. If you have gotten this far, either you have an amazing sense of humor, or you just really really like ***holes; lets hope it's the first one. Ok so I guess I abandoned the online dating advice and tried to make you laugh after all. Put your favorite color in the subject line of the email you send!
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