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Just a (mostly) normal couple looking for a girl (18~35) to hang with
Please read the whole ad before responding!
Were searching for a girl to hang with. Were not looking to make things overtly weird (maybe just a little weird, but in a good way!).
What were looking for:
We are willing to accept all types of personalities and demeanors including but not limited to people who are ridiculously shy, people who are TOO out-going, intellectuals, not so intellectuals, people who like Apple products, people who dont like Apple products, people who love witty banters, people who tolerate witty banter, people who hate MY witty banter, people who like to dress up like aliens, aliens, vegetarians, pescatarians, people whos names start with A, people whos names start with the other letters of the alphabet along with letters of over alphabets such as an r with a tilde over it whatever floats your boat really, weirdos, people who think theyre not weirdos, bananas, people who are actually dolphins, dolphins.
Were looking for someone between the ages of 18 and I dont know, 40? I figure thatd be the hard maximum before were completely confused about television references we all make. Please be able to write a complete sentence. Honestly, we dont have the time to waste on someone who drools uncontrollably at the sound of a three syllable word (although two is already such a longshot for many).
Were also open to most body-types, within reason. Obviously, being clean is a must if anything like that is to occur.
Now I get to talk about us!
Were an open minded, intelligent, creative, and a lot of other adjectives couple. We love hanging out, shopping, getting smoothies, watching movies, having a cook-out, camping, hiking, watching plays, travel, grabbing a drink, having a night in, and simple conversation. We both write (though I towards poetry and he leans toward stories). We dabble in other forms of art as well but arent very good at most of them (but its still fun!). We both have our lives together and are educated/employed and all the other fun stuff.
Some of our favorite shows include Game of Thrones (cuz who doesnt!?), Adventure Time, The Walking Dead, and Archer.
Some of the musical interests we share include Modest Mouse, Nine Inch Nails, and The Mars Volta.
Were both 25.
The man is white, 6 feet tall, in good shape, and clean. Hes also clean shaven on the face (aka no beard or mustache).
The woman is white, just under 6 feet tall, c-cup, in good shape, and clean. Also no beard or mustache :p
We both live together and have our own place. Its quite spacious.
Were both hygienic and take care of ourselves (Ya know, showering/grooming and that sort of thing). A lot of people in the world just perpetually smell like dirty socks. Neither of us do (minus alcohol) but we are open to people who smoke.
Were game to be friends or for it to be a singular instance, depending on how it all goes. We have a preference for something on-going but, obviously, making that kind of promise without having met seems premature.
Feel free to hit us up. If this ad is still up, were still looking! Dont be shy, were easy to get along with. usually :D .
F.A.Q. (Ok, most of these are made up. Except number 1. I know, right?)
1. Does the guy in your relationship want a gay blowjob?
No.
2. I dont drink.
Thats fine.
3. You seem lame.
NO U.
4. Are you looking for men, women, dolphins?
Just a woman Maybe a dolphin. Dolphins are cool.
5. What ages are you looking for?
Were much open to anyone under 40 who wont get us arrested for them being underage. Other limitations apply, see above.
6. What should be included in my reply?
Well your age, whether youre a girl or dolphin, and what youre looking for is fine really. It would probably be useful to include other stuff including admiration for the work we put into this ad and may earn you brownie points*.
7. Help! Ive fallen and cant get up!
Shiggy Diggy. Also Life Alert.
8. But it was your fault I fell!
pls no sue
9. But it seems awkward to randomly meet people on the Internets for this sort of thing.
Well yeah, thats what the booze is for. Ok, maybe thats not a requirement. But its only really awkward the first time. I mean, its awkward in other ways ALL the time but in the context of meeting itll really only be awkward for like 30 seconds. Were definitely not looking to bring someone over and immediately throw them into bed. Wed want to hang for a bit and get to know you first. You know, like people with standards .
. Are you looking to trade naked pictures?
No. please dont ask. Thats an awful idea given how many guys probably masquerade as women on here just to get said naked pictures. Pictures showing ones body clothed are fine to ask for though.
. Can I contact you by some way other than?
Well, before I give you my number Ill probably want to exchange at least one with you. You could me or hit me up via kik if youd like. My kik name is Stream40 .
*Brownie points are non-redeemable for, like, anything, including brownies. the blue angels flying down market st yesterday jogged some memories. I was in the Navy for 4 years, and let me tell you something, those uniforms show everything, EVERYTHING!! Especially the dress whites!!! I was stationed on a ship with guys, and I was literllay turned on. I j/offed all over that ship, and base. Ironiy, I find myself turned on now, 10 years later. Especially working in the financial district!
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Since I believe in being upfront and honest, there are some certain qualifiers that won't appeal to most.
1) I'm a smoker and enjoy my 420.
2) I tend to be a bit of a homebody.
3) I'm a bitch. Well... Not entirely but I have my fair share of moments. I also have a few screws loose but I make it work.
4) I will not enter a strictly monogamous wife want hot sex Kittitas relationship. I'm also not the kind of person who has multiple committed partners (at this point anyway).
If you're still interested, I'm definitely worth the time. I've been told countless times that I should be a model. I refuse to go into that business since I have no desire to be objectified on a regular basis. I also happen to be a major geek and consider hanging out with friends, booze, and (insert geeky show/movie here). I'm also very loyal to my loved ones and have been known to give my friends things they needed without being asked. Basiy, I'm what a friend should be and that extends to all of my relationships. Also, I have my shit together and have no need or desire for anyone to support or help me out. I work, drive, live with awesome roommates in the suburbs, and have an awesome little dog.
I'm 5'10, wear glasses, have red (dyed) hair, brown eyes, and am curvy but far from BBW. I've actually lost about 30 pounds this year and am at a point where if I lose more, I'm happy... but I'll also be happy if my figure stays the same. If you don't like a woman with some meat on her bones, move on. I'll never be skinny and won't tolerate anyone who thinks I should be.
What I'm looking for:
Taller then myself. No exceptions.
Between 25 and 35. I can be flexible depending on the person. I really care more about maturity then anything else. I've been through a lot in my life and have issues relating to people who haven't had to work for what they have.
No kids. Sorry, but I don't have kids and would rather not date anyone who has children. My maternal instinct is absent most of the time anyway.
Love to talk. Sorry boys, but I'm not into the strong and silent type... I prefer knowing that I can hold a conversation with those I care for.
Have your shit together. i.e. job or school, transportation, and live away from your parents.
Be intelligent and somewhat normal. I'm not the smartest person nor am I anywhere near normal... but I manage to function in society and convince people that I'm both smart and normal.
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