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Frankly, this sucks. I'm feeling all kinds of conflict, tension and uncertainty right now. However, I am certain that this is not healthy, that I cannot continue to put myself in a position that makes me feel this way. So here I am, writing a letter that I have no intention to send to you. Instead, this letter will serve to inform the next conversation we have.

I came to the conclusion long ago that we are not sustainable. This is something I sensed from the beginning, but consumed as we were by the thrill of one another, I did not let this worry me. I figured things would fizzle out, and that would be the natural progression of our relationship, of our lives. However, it seems to me that my feelings towards you grow more complex everyday. We seem to be approaching an utter mess, and because I love you, because you have meant so much to me, I think it's best that we end things mutually before our relationship combusts.

This sucks. This sucks because I love you, because you thrill me and move me and surge through me like no one else ever has. You are in my thoughts often. You are scrawled all over my diary. You are capable of hurting me, did you know? I ache for you. My cunt aches for you. The way you taste and smell, how our skin feels and sounds sliding against each other's body; these thoughts are never far from my mind. Writing this I feel a warm pulsation between my legs, and I think of your fingers in my mouth, your cock pressed against my pubic bone. There is a darkness between us, and no matter how long I ponder it, I simply do not understand. You destroy me. You make me feel impatient and important and deliberate and vulnerable and powerful and musical. I want you all of the time, maybe because I know you won't be in my life soon. I want as much of you as I can get, while I can still have you.

Please don't be angry with me. I know I could have handled this better. For that, I am deeply sorry. I hope that you can hear my earnestness.

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